overthinking #

sometimes my head’s a goddamn mess—
won’t shut the hell up, this endless reel of crap,
these moments with you, over and over,
each one slicing deeper, tearing new holes,
like i deserve it. maybe i do. maybe
it’s all my fault, some stupid slip-up
i can’t even pinpoint.

i claw at the night, trying to fix the unfixable,
failing spectacularly, drowning in this
quagmire of “what ifs” and “could’ve beens,”
dragging my sorry ass through a storm of doubt.
it feels like my chest is collapsing in slow motion,
and my goddamn thoughts won’t get off my back.

did i say the wrong thing? did i fucking ruin it?
if only i could split open your mind
and dig through the wreckage for an answer—
just something to make sense of this relentless ache.
but here i am, choking on silence,
digging graves for myself in the middle of the night.

i lie there, staring at the ceiling,
the weight of everything punching down on me,
begging for peace, a shred of quiet—
but nah, the brain’s got other plans.
so i think. and think. and overthink.
and hate myself just enough to keep the cycle going.