we didn’t talk much for like… months it felt although it was probably less than that i… hated a lot more things about it i hated the fact that you replied dryly to my texts i hated the fact that i seemed the only one interested in talking while you didn’t seem to care at all i hated the fact that you took so long to reply
“are we still friends like we used to be” this was supposed to be my question i don’t know how much you wondered this, but from purely my perspective i wondered about this a lot sometimes entire days most nights i would go to bed imagining if we’re gonna grow distant now that our time was only till 12th
but then you texted me or you replied to something i said in more than one message and that… kinda made my day or night depended
also that made me feel really pathetic the next day when you were back to texting dryly i can’t explain how happy it made me feel when you told me you miss me she remembers me it’s kinda dumb but that was my thought process
i can’t tell how bad it felt when we were back to the dry texting from then onwards you asked me today if we were still friends like we used to be milady, we can’t ever not be friends like we used to be
i probably won’t say all this to you because this is about me it doesn’t consider what you thought, felt, or had been busy with i’m pretty sure if you tell me, if you tell me, what you were busy with all this will just go poof
i can’t be mad at you i like you after all thankfully i don’t like you in the way i’d want to call you my girlfriend or something neither have i ever romanticized any aspect of you i like you in the sense that i wanna talk to you i want to hear you rant about people, things, anything for any interval of time
but i can’t tell you that because i suck at conveying feelings and this will make things supremely awkward
i don’t want that i’d rather have the kind of less talking we have right now than not talking at all and having to consider everything we say so that the other person doesn’t take any other meaning from it ah well ah well