Poem (i was drunk) #

ma out
pa out
there was a botle
CHUGCHUGCHUGCHUGCHUGCHUGCHUGCHUGCHUGCHUGCHUGCHUGCHUGCHUGCHUGCHUGCHUGCHUGCHUGCHUGCHUGCHUGCHUGCHUG
lIkE a BeAsT
liquid courage? na liquid CHAOSSSS BABYYYYYY
burming throat, warm fire in my chest,
eyes 50$ off, half-seeing the room spim,
and there’s something prettyy about losing control
but also pathetic.
like i
pathetic but freeing.
iM a LiBeRaToRrRrRrRrRrRrRrRr
what does it say about me
mEh

ooooo
tree.
biiig tree
sprawlimg
maybe its drunk to
branches clawing at the sky
it’s asking
begging
im begging
begging youuu
or maybe just tired
eh
OOOO
CLOUDS
PAST THE TREES
you forget that.
i forgot that.
everyone forget that.
poor clouds.
but they float past da branches,
white smears in the sky like spilled milk,
and there’s
pretty in that.

MILK,
i boiled a packet
biig packet
2l
maybe
i wanted tee
a cuppa.
milk bubbling over like it’s angry
“you fool! you didn’t need this much!”
wHaT aRe YoU mY mOm???
but i do. i really
two tea bags drowned in that steaming cup, their parents were sad ig
and i sat there with me feast:
four Merlins,
those
lying
chocolate
FUCKS.
not chocolate. no.
just covered in it.
inside? cream.
cheap cream.
betrayal.
but i ate them anyway because—well—
nom.
also when life letrays you
you bite back
like
nom

and in that moment, i felt it—
lIkE a god.
not da god. no halos, no thunda.
just i
sitting there, bloated
with tea and biscuits,
feeling invincible in the most best way.
pawaful.
full of milk and lies and Merlins
the lying lying merlins
and that’s when it hit me:
god is bullshit.
a crutch
a puppet we pull out when the world’s too heavy.
“oh no, not my fault, god willed it.”
weak.
we are weak
so we make gods strong
and we hide behind them
cowards in da shadows of da divine.
but it’s all us.
us and our endless blaming
shifting
whining
we lie
like merlins

anyway, litti.
LITTIISSOGOODBRO
it’s not just food
it’s experience,
crispy shell breaking
soft inside
smoky,
like eating a piece of earth itself.
so damn good it makes you wonda
why don’t we talk about this more????????????
why don’t we worship this??????
forget gods.
worship litti!!!!!!!!
worship the tree!!!!!!!!!!!
worship clouds, milk, even the lying lying Merlins!!!!!!!!!!!!!
because at least they’re real.
tangibl
not some hollo excuse.

…and there it is again,
that heaviness i can’t shake it off
shake it off
o la la
gomma sleep